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[ornithologist]

Comments

[ornithologist]

Funny. That's more or less what he said to me.

Maybe you should say it to each other.

[fortitudosalutis]

Oh

[ He sits with that for another long pause. Maybe too long. ]

It's hard to shake sometimes. There were things we weren't supposed to talk about back home.

[ornithologist]

I can understand that. It's difficult to air out those wounds.

But I think you already know that if you want someone else to put down their defenses, you should put down yours first.

[fortitudosalutis]

How'd you do it?

[ornithologist]

I suppose it's much like putting your weapon down first. You accept that you might get hurt.

[fortitudosalutis]

I haven't done that for a long time. Not even for a minute.

Think I want to try, though.

[ornithologist]

There are things worth more than getting hurt. To me, at least.

It becomes so simple from that angle.

[fortitudosalutis]

Big risk, isn't it?

[ornithologist]

Sometimes the alternative is the bigger risk, don't you think?

When you let protecting yourself become a reflex, you also choose the consequences of that. It can mean other people pay the price instead of you.

[fortitudosalutis]

Yeah
It was like that in the Reapers
I don't know what it looks like to step away from that

Think I want to try, though

[ornithologist]

Perhaps you can start by telling Mr. Bossie just what you told me here.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ ... ]

Yeah

[ornithologist]

You care for one another very much. At home we settle on a particular way of showing that, one that we consider safe.

Etraya does rather open up our options.

[fortitudosalutis]

It's hard sometimes. Having options. Was simpler back home.

Not always better, though.

[ornithologist]

Are you familiar with the concept of the paradox of choice?

[fortitudosalutis]

No

[ornithologist]

Having a smaller number of choices is psychologically less stressful for us. It's simply the way our brains work.

When we have many choices, we become fixated on making the best possible choice, instead of one that is good enough. It's natural to prefer situations where you can feel confident you made the best possible choice, because your options were limited.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver sits with that for a long time. ]

It was like that back home. We made everything simple because otherwise we'd die.

And now we're here. The old metrics don't fit.

[ornithologist]

It's no coincidence the military operates the way it does. In those circumstances it's a matter of survival.

Much like veterans returning after Vietnam to a hostile environment, it's a difficult adjustment. When you're under constant threat, things must be made simple. But it's not the way people are meant to live forever.

[fortitudosalutis]

I couldn't do it before. After my last deployment ended. Everything was so loud. And then it just got worse.

Don't know if I can do it now. But I want to, I think.

[ornithologist]

It doesn't need to be either-or, black and white.

Take one step at a time. You can find a place between killer and civilian, Brandon.

[fortitudosalutis]

One day. Maybe.

[ornithologist]

One day is better than never.