[ He almost says not to waste the bullet. That ammunition is scarce and cannot be wasted. But this is hard for Harold, he's realizing, maybe on some fundamental level. Sometimes you have to give people grace for the hard shit. ]
Yeah. That'll do it.
It's not a person. I won't feel it, I'll already be gone.
[ There's a 0% chance he'll be stabbing anyone in the head, but maybe, like, a 10% chance Harold might be willing to shoot a corpse. Maybe. It's non-zero. ]
Please stop trying to reassure me. I'll do it to spare further suffering if I must but it will not make me feel better to think you're already dead.
My heart won't be pumping. The eyes will be open but it won't recognize you. They don't feel anything but hungry. I'm just explaining the conditions you'll see.
I trained kids how to do this in Afghanistan, with knives. This is easier. You don't have to feel bad about it. You don't have to feel anything. It's a net positive for the world.
You could probably handle a bomb threat. Maybe even an IED. But this is different. A lot of the kids hesitated at first. Some of them died because of it.
[ Kids, he says, though they were only a few years younger than him. Only Matthew was an actual child. ]
[ Everything about being called sir in this context rubs him the wrong way. Harold would rather he went back to arguing with him. But it would be -- disrespectful, it feels, to push him on that -- so he just says, ]
In the meantime, your job is to keep yourself and Ms. Shaw alive, and anyone else you possibly can as well. Understood? No one's ever been punished for not completing a mission, only not rewarded.
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I'm not making you do shit, Finch. I'm asking you for a favor.
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It would mean that much to you?
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I'll save a bullet for you. That's undoubtedly the most horrible thing I've ever typed and I'm going to have nightmares.
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Yeah. That'll do it.
It's not a person. I won't feel it, I'll already be gone.
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Please stop trying to reassure me. I'll do it to spare further suffering if I must but it will not make me feel better to think you're already dead.
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It will not be easy. I will feel bad. Please for the love of god stop telling me about children learning how to use knives on diseased corpses.
If you persist I will time you out.
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[ Kids, he says, though they were only a few years younger than him. Only Matthew was an actual child. ]
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That was all, sir.
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Do actually be careful.
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[ He's feeling sassy after that conversation. ]
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[ There's opportunity there. Access. ]
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In the meantime, your job is to keep yourself and Ms. Shaw alive, and anyone else you possibly can as well. Understood? No one's ever been punished for not completing a mission, only not rewarded.
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[ He hasn't been sleeping much. He is, maybe, losing his mind a tiny bit. But those are not mission critical details. ]
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If I have to use this bullet, I will be very upset.
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[ Sleep deprivation's going to catch him sooner or later. He wonders if Shaw warned Harold about that. ]
I've been deployed under worse conditions.
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