levelshift: (tell me absolutely everything)

[personal profile] levelshift 2025-12-31 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
From what I've seen he seems to be handling it alright. He and mecha-Viktor don't seem to get along, but they aren't at each other's throats.

[In Accelerator's mind, that means there are no problems.]

I'll keep that in mind.

[That is especially relevant given Sleipnir.... But he also has his esper ability right now, so he isn't in any danger.

... Even if just thinking about Auriel scares him a little....]


He did it to 'kill' me for that fucking game. I'm still pissed off about it.

[Which is an understatement about how he feels. It's like he's been thrown off-balance, and the only thing that will fix that is listening to the voice in his head that is screaming at him to get Sleipnir back.]
Edited 2025-12-31 21:47 (UTC)
levelshift: (don't start wanting to be saved)

[personal profile] levelshift 2025-12-31 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
How else are we supposed to differentiate them?

That isn't a bad idea. Talis would probably appreciate that you give a shit.

Are you serious? He was fucking with me. That bastard was smug the entire time because he knew I couldn't do anything without blowing my cover! If that hadn't been an issue I would have put him through a wall.
levelshift: from Dear Anthology (a huge grumpus)

[personal profile] levelshift 2025-12-31 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Should I go back to calling one surly and one Talis's?

I wouldn't be fucking with him using a goddamn flower. I can tell you that much.
Edited 2025-12-31 22:11 (UTC)
levelshift: (harrumph)

[personal profile] levelshift 2025-12-31 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that one is really fucking accurate. [Gay.]

No! I've been trying to fucking leave him alone. And if I didn't I wouldn't bother fucking with him at all, I'd just beat the shit out of him. That would improve my mood a hell of a lot.
levelshift: (hmph)

[personal profile] levelshift 2025-12-31 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Do I need to spell it out? Especially to you, of all people?

[He's thinking the exact same thing.]

If he's feeling the same way I am then he should be exercising the same control I've been doing. If he can't do that, then why should I? Now that we're back from the mission there's nothing stopping me from approaching the bastard to talk to him.

[... Well, he isn't entirely sure that it's talking he would be doing, but he'll figure that out when he gets there.]
levelshift: (spelling it out)

[personal profile] levelshift 2025-12-31 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[Okay, seems like he does. And because he's a very straightforward teenager, he does indeed spell it out:]

I assume they're fucking.

I'm fine with that. I've done enough horrible shit in my life that accepting responsibility is easy for me. What's one more thing added to the pile?
levelshift: <user name=karmasicons site=tumblr.com> (uncertain)

[personal profile] levelshift 2025-12-31 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
The hell do you mean?

[It seems cut and dry to him. Even if he personally feels like he's never experienced this kind of physical attraction or attachment before, he's well aware that it's normal for other people (especially adults) to.

Still, it's a complicated subject, as is Sleipnir. Seeing this is one of those rare occasions where Harold is using his name makes him instantly more attentive and nervous.]


No.

[That reaction is coming reflexively. There is no way in hell he could forgive Sleipnir. Take responsibility for his own actions? Sure, he's learned how to do that thanks to the clones and Last Order. But beyond that? Absolutely not.]

I'm not a good person like you are. I'm not capable of that.
Edited (Oops more came to me.) 2025-12-31 23:55 (UTC)
levelshift: https://twitter.com/oyaumi_zzz/status/1309491560606658560 (:\)

[personal profile] levelshift 2026-01-01 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
That's the case for most people, though. [They aren't talking about most people, though, are they? All four of them aren't exactly the pinnacle of normal for different reasons.] It isn't for you and Reese?

[Admittedly, he's a little more curious about Harold and John's relationship status than he is Jayce and Viktor. He's closer to them, and for crying out loud, they were fake-married on Earth-2. There has to be something there, even if he isn't sure what it is.

Besides that, there are his own feelings about himself. He doesn't think Harold is correct, he's just thinking the best of him. It hurts, not being able to live up to his expectations.]


You mean with you? That was different.
levelshift: (spelling it out)

[personal profile] levelshift 2026-01-01 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Really? Huh, I didn't expect that.

[He isn't sure what that says about him that he was making that assumption in particular. He'd like to chalk to up to the society he was raised in without any further reflection. That's a hell of a lot easier than the alternative.]

I wasn't doing that out of any sense of fucking kindness towards him. It was a necessity for the mission. I was being pragmatic.

[And it had been a huge struggle the entire time. Part of himself still hates that he refrained from doing anything.]
levelshift: (listening)

[personal profile] levelshift 2026-01-02 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
[It's a miracle Accelerator isn't being as vulgar as he could be. The line between vulgarity and straightforwardness can be a thin one, and he's trying to make an effort to balance it. Somewhat.

Anyways, this conversation is making it very clear that he doesn't actually know what Harold and John's relationship is. They're partners, but if one removes the physical component from that description, and take Harold's lack of interest in social conventions into account, what's left is... very vague and ambiguous.

Since they're talking about, he thinks he may as well ask. They're already starting to clear the air, there isn't any reason to stop now.]


Then what the hell are you two?

[It is, at least, a lot easier to ask that than tackle the rest of Harold's texts. This is far from the first time Harold has compared him to the Machine, and it makes him wonder what she would do if she was in this position. Which, ironically, she may have been? He doesn't know the details of her creation, but Harold has told him a few key things in the past.]

Didn't she try to kill you a bunch of times?

[He knows that whole situation must have been complicated, but he has to ask anyways.]
Edited 2026-01-02 01:36 (UTC)
levelshift: (don't start wanting to be saved)

[personal profile] levelshift 2026-01-02 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
That's it? You don't define it beyond that?

[It's kind of crazy to hear that. Yes, Harold is sentimental and more in touch with his emotions than he is, but he's still a logical person. You don't build the first goddamn sentient AI without having the kind of mindset that lends itself to analyzing, categorizing, formulating clear answers. And this is not that.]

That depends on what lens I'm using to judge someone with. Back home it's easy, since I'm the head of the city it's my responsibility to make sure people have the freedom and privacy to make their own choices, and when those choices are counter to fair laws I'm the one who makes sure they're prosecuted and rehabilitated in a way that allows them to learn from their mistakes and become productive members of society, and not fall through the fucking cracks.

[It's a burden, but it also provides him with a certain amount of structure and a clear direction.]

In Etraya I don't have that responsibility. It doesn't even fucking matter that I'm the #1. We don't even have a legal system to act as a yardstick for what's considered criminal, so all I have to go off of are my own experiences and emotions.

[Which is intensely frustrating! He doesn't like his emotions, he hates that they exist and he refuses to engage with them on any meaningful level as much as possible.]
levelshift: (Misuzu time)

[personal profile] levelshift 2026-01-02 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know. It just seems like leaving it vague would be difficult to manage.

[It would be for him, if he was in that position. He has only recently gotten used to the idea of having familial relationships, he would have no idea what to do with himself with anything beyond that.

He reads the rest of this quietly, not taking any of it as criticism on his actions as the Board Chairman. Harold isn't wrong, there have already been incidents that have gone beyond Academy City's legal system, and even within it he knows there are flaws that need to be corrected. That's far easier for him to accept than the rest of Harold's message.

It's always been easy for Accelerator to accept the worst of himself. Having grown up in an environment that only ever saw that part of him it's the part of him that's always been at the forefront — it's what all the researchers and scientists saw during all those experiments he was part of, it's what other espers saw when they attacked him due to his status, it's what the clones saw when he was killing them. Last Order was the first person to see the rest of him, and while she will always mean the world to him for that it doesn't mean he's suddenly a good person. At the end of the day, he's still a monster.

His actions show he's a monster. That's a fact, and that's why he's so bewildered to read that Harold is proud of him.]


What? How the hell can you say that after everything I've done? I've killed people back home, and I couldn't even stop myself from killing someone here. You have nothing to be proud of.
levelshift: (what did you say?)

[personal profile] levelshift 2026-01-03 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
Just because the lives you two led back home weren't normal doesn't mean that has to keep going here. Is that what you want?

[As much as he dislikes admitting it, there are parts of normalcy that he would like. A family, for one, which he supposes is sort of why he's talking to Harold right now and not hunting down Sleipnir. Harold is parental in a way that he never got to experience growing up, it's a flicker of normalcy that he's allowing himself.

And maybe that's a mistake, considering how hard it is for him to accept the exceedingly parental statement of I'm proud of you. There is several minutes of silence as Accelerator stares at the text, reading it over several times.]


You're really proud that I didn't do anything?

[Why, why is it so hard to wrap his head around that?]
Edited 2026-01-03 05:37 (UTC)

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